how do you speak to a gay person?

One of the things that happens in the Church's conversations with/about/to gay people, is that they are rarely conversations with/about/to people.

We are an "issue".

Now this is - of course - completely understandable. If you are straight (and most people are) then homosexuality in the Church, in the family, in the workplace, in life, is an "issue". It may be an issue that comes very close. You may have very good gay friends. A close relative. And you may really want to understand.

But for gay people, things (I speak personally, but I think this works as a pretty good general rule) feel a bit different. My life isn't an issue. It's my life.

The same applies to an Australian. A disabled person. To someone who is left-handed or (God love them) ginger. There may be different distinguishing factors, but we are all people.

It's amazing that this needs to be said, but it really does.

I have watched in horror following the publication of Jayne Ozanne and Vicky Beeching's simply brilliant autobiographies at the way they have been written about/to on the internet and by some Christian publications and organisations in the last few weeks. And I have watched in horror as some Christian leaders have stayed silent while it has happened - on their watch.

Jayne and Vicky are not issues. They are people.

Both their books tell the stories of faithful Christian lives, lived out at times in very difficult circumstances, but with God shining through. I do not want to begin to contemplate what Vicky must have been through as she outwardly lived the dream of many of her contemporaries, experiencing a burgeoning Christian music career, knowing all the while it was destroying her internally. The joy of serving - the pain of serving; honesty had to win, her heart beat back any question of ambition, and she walked away from the dreams in order to fulfil God's greater call. Jayne's wholehearted Christian service and faith-based lifestyle is an example to anyone; yet she lived in fear of people seeing one part of her life that might bring condemnation from some when all she was doing should only bring admiration and inspiration from everyone.

These haven't been the kind of reviews that have horrified me.

No, there have actually been some people who have vilified both simply because they are gay. The desire to condemn the issue has wiped away any responsibility to treat Jayne and Vicky as people. Jesus might command his followers not to judge, but apparently some Bibles have a footnote on that verse - *Unless someone is gay; then they don't really count, so it's open season.

Newsflash:

They do really count.

St Paul writes in Romans 13:

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not covet,’ and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ Love does no harm to a neighbour. Therefore love is the fulfilment of the law.

The semi-anonymous words of prejudice that get pedalled online as 'a review' or 'a biblical response' to anything written by anyone who doesn't fit a certain theological outlook need to go through this filter: "Love does no harm to a neighbour". Not "Well, if it hurts them it's good for them". My grandmother understood more of St Paul than some of the theologians who propagate stuff on their own websites these days. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything," she'd have said to some of these guys.

But Marcus! No! comes back the retort. They need to know how badly they are sinning!

And you need to read Romans 12:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practise hospitality.Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Yes, have your zeal, but bless and do not curse. I have read some fair cursing of these two saints of God, and it is unacceptable. I have come across folk who had no need to tweet or to write and they have gone out of their way to cause disharmony, being careful to do what is right in the eyes of their own theological party but not caring one moment for others. Living at peace with everyone has been the last thing in their hearts.

If you can't say anything nice - go to bed and tomorrow, tweet about something else. There's enough trouble in this world for us all to do some good somewhere.

Because gay people are people. We don't live with an issue. We just live. Some of us try to live helping others to live a little better as gay people in the Church. If you don't like that - OK; why not spend a bit more time trying to help straight people live better in the Church instead of trying to condemn us? There's more of you, and I promise you'll still have lots to fill your time with.

And if you are a Christian leader and you see someone march into battle and get all of this wrong on your watch - someone in your church, your diocese, your organisation, your care somehow - then please speak out. Whether the person on the receiving end of the prejudice and the bullying and the abuse is Australian, disabled, left-handed, ginger, gay or all of the above.

We are people. Not issues. For God's sake, take the flack for whatever issue is the presenting cause when in fact you are standing up for people that Jesus died for.

How do you speak to a gay person?

Oh - I know this one! It's a Jesus thing, isn't it?

Matthew 7.12.